{"id":36554,"date":"2018-01-31T09:34:11","date_gmt":"2018-01-31T14:34:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/?p=36554"},"modified":"2025-12-11T06:30:47","modified_gmt":"2025-12-11T11:30:47","slug":"how-to-write-heartfelt-vows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/how-to-write-heartfelt-vows","title":{"rendered":"How To Write Heartfelt Vows: Tips From Toronto\u2019s Top Wedding Officiants"},"content":{"rendered":"

Writing your own wedding vows is the perfect way to personalize your wedding! Depending on how you want your ceremony to feel, you can add some comedy that will have your guests roaring with laughter, or go in the opposite direction and pull on the heartstrings – the stage is yours to do what you wish!<\/p>

While personalizing your vows seems like the obvious choice, it can get overwhelming pretty fast. How long should they be? What should you talk about? How personal is too<\/em> personal? The struggle is real. If you’re recently engaged, and currently having trouble writing your own vows, we’ve got you covered! We asked some of Toronto’s top wedding officiants<\/a> to weigh in on 10 tips to help you get started. Happy writing!<\/p>

1. Start writing early<\/h2>

Give yourself some dedicated time and maybe a deadline to ponder and write your vows. I suggest having your ceremony, including your vows, finalized 3-4 weeks before your wedding so you\u2019re not feeling rushed and can actually enjoy the experience.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Martin Frith<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Ceremonies with Choice<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
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 <\/p>

2. Get inspired<\/h2>

Fresh inspiration can be found everywhere. Online research, quotes, a loved joke from a your favourite comedian, lyrics from a retro song, a romantic ballad, a scene from a favourite rom-com... what about asking your parents what their wedding vows were?<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Sarah Bunnett-Gibson<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Sarah Bunnett-Gibson Wedding Officiant<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

We find inspiration in many places. You can read what others have captured, and I also encourage couples to look at some of their own material. For example, letters, anniversary cards or notes you\u2019ve written to each other are great reminders about why you want to spend the rest of your lives together.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Martin Frith<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Ceremonies with Choice<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

I help my couples write their vows and I also supply samples and templates. Look for an Officiant who is willing to share their experience. There are also a lot of ideas on the internet to get your juices flowing!<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Beth MacKenzie<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Weddings for Everyone<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

 <\/p>

3. Do some research<\/h2>

If you\u2019re struggling to find the right words, buy a thesaurus. It\u2019ll help you to avoid repeating yourself. Words such as \u2018love\u2019 and \u2018honour\u2019 are naturally popular, but there are plenty of other terms you can include as well. Still stuck? You can always ask your Officiant for a list of vows to choose from or look vows up on the internet to inspire you. Once you narrow things down, you will be surprised at how easily they come together.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Maureen McLellan<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
I Marry U - Wedding Officiant<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Do some research. There is no specific formula for vows, though they should reflect the uniqueness of the couple in tone, wording and style. Some couples may be more sentimental, others playful, or traditional. In the case of one couple, they were both list keepers, so their vows were in three parts which they did responsively; \u2018What I love about you\u2019, \u2018What I love about us\u2019, and then they finished with a traditional vow.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Martin Frith<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Ceremonies with Choice<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

\"Heartfelt<\/a>Photo Courtesy of Purple Tree Wedding Photography<\/a><\/span><\/p>

 <\/p>

4. Establish tone<\/h2>

Begin by discussing the tone of your vows with your partner. If one of you writes serious, traditional vows and the other's are humorous, the humorous vows could seem disrespectful or dismissive. Therefore make sure that you are in agreement if you want your vows to be poetic, romantic or a mix of both with a little humour included.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Rinette Emerson<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Enduring Promises<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Discuss together the style you want your vows to be. Will they be serious, spiritual, silly, or sentimental? How about romantic and elegant, quirky and unique? Your vows are truly the heart of your whole ceremony.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Sarah Bunnett-Gibson<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Sarah Bunnett-Gibson Wedding Officiant<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

 <\/p>

5. Talk about your relationship<\/h2>

Include how you met, what you love about them, what you love doing as a couple, their habit that drives you crazy. Talk about something funny that\u2019s happened and\/or something that was very meaningful in your relationship. Talk about your past, present and future. Speak of common ideas, hopes and dreams.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Beth MacKenzie<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Weddings for Everyone<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Share some highlights from your journey together; how you met, when you knew he\/she was the one, your proposal, etc. Tell your partner what you really like about them. Speak about their character - not just their physical features - such as honesty, compassion, dedication, love, gentleness and strength of spirit.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Martti Pajunen<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Kettle Creek Weddings<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Vows should most importantly be representative of the couple. Vows are not one size fits all. They should speak to who you are, and what you imagine. If you love to have fun, let that be reflected in your vows. Romantic? Let that be the overall feeling; and so on. This is one part of the ceremony which is easily personalized.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Maureen McLellan<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
I Marry U - Wedding Officiant<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

 <\/p>

6. Speak from the heart<\/h2>

What made you fall in love with them? I had vows spoken where the groom told the bride he has loved her for X minutes - it was something like 6 million minutes. It was priceless and he used it a few times during his vows. Make it heartfelt to all and bring it with a touch of humour. What does your spouse do that makes your heart skip a beat, laugh until you cry, and make you want to wake up beside them for the rest of your life? Be comfortable with the words you choose. Tell your spouse what they have done to make you a better person. Be real, be yourself. Let your guests feel the love you share together through your words.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Beth MacKenzie<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Weddings for Everyone<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Be aware of your feelings and how you can express them through your vows. Remember that this is your special day, your heart is full, and you are about to begin a new chapter with your loved one.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Jonny Belinko<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Jonny Officiant<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

\"Heartfelt<\/a>Photo Courtesy of Alicia Thurston Photography<\/a><\/span><\/p>

 <\/p>

7. Come up with a few meaningful promises<\/h2>

The true essence of your vows are the promises you make to each other \u2013 so make them as meaningful and realistic to both of you. They are meant to reflect the commitment you are prepared to make to each other as you enter married life.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Jonny Belinko<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Jonny Officiant<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Whatever you decide to promise your partner, go with your strengths. If you are naturally light-hearted, then combine some humour with your life-long commitments. However, if you are a more conservative couple, traditional promises may work best. The best advice I can offer, however, is to try and stay calm. If you make a mistake, laugh it off, and keep going, you won\u2019t be the first or last to do so. And if emotions get the best of you that\u2019s okay, because if you don\u2019t show some real emotion on your wedding day, something\u2019s wrong!<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Rinette Emerson<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Enduring Promises<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

 <\/p>

8. Avoid being too clich\u00e9<\/h2>

Try to make your vows as unique and reflective of your own personalities as possible. Avoid using borrowed phrases that may sound nice but will ring hollow with people who know you \u2013 i.e., the attendees.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Jonny Belinko<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Jonny Officiant<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

This moment of the wedding day is really about you both, who you really are. It's okay to include an inside joke hidden in your vows; it's fine that your guests may not understand it. Adding some humour can help save you from tears and running mascara; enjoy a little good-natured laugh instead.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Sarah Bunnett-Gibson<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Sarah Bunnett-Gibson Wedding Officiant<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

 <\/p>

9. Keep it simple<\/h2>

Consider vows as the \u2018public personal\u2019; you don\u2019t need to bare your soul. A simple formula is to include 3 elements; past, present, a future. For example, when we met, I could not have imagined the joy you\u2019ve brought to my life and I look forward to growing old with you. Remember, it\u2019s impossible to capture all you appreciate about the other or the complexity of your relationship, so pick just a couple of qualities you appreciate the most and weave them in.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Martin Frith<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Ceremonies with Choice<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

 <\/p>

10. Practice out loud<\/h2>

Practice saying your vows aloud. Sometimes, we write things that look good on paper but are awkward when spoken. Hearing it will help you know what they will sound like to your fianc\u00e9 and wedding guests. This will also give you a chance to time how long it takes to say your vows.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

\"Photo
Rinette Emerson<\/span>Officiant<\/span>
Enduring Promises<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Writing your own wedding vows is the perfect way to personalize your wedding! Depending on how you want your ceremony to feel, you can add some comedy that will have your guests roaring with laughter, or go in the opposite direction and pull on the heartstrings – the stage is yours to do what you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":69216,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[136],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-36554","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-tips-tricks"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\r\nWriting Heartfelt Vows: Tips From Toronto Wedding Officiants<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We asked some of Toronto's top wedding officiants to weigh in on 10 tips on how to write the most unforgettable, heartfelt vows!\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" 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Knopf","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossless+ret_img+to_webp\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/krystal.jpg","url":"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossless+ret_img+to_webp\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/krystal.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossless+ret_img+to_webp\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/krystal.jpg","caption":"Krystal Knopf"},"description":"I've always had a passion for blogging, social media, losing myself in all sorts of pretty details. This unique combination has landed me the title of Blog Editor and Communications Manager here at EventSource - I couldn't be happier! When I'm not busy scouring all corners of the internet for gorgeous wedding inspiration, or blogging about the latest Toronto event trends, you'll find me curled up at home binge-watching Modern Family, re-runs of Friends and the Office.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog","eventsource.ca\/","eventsource.ca","https:\/\/x.com\/eventsourceca"],"url":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/author\/krystal"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/28"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36554"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36554\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":172209,"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36554\/revisions\/172209"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/69216"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eventsource.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}