Back in the old days, it was unheard of for couples to live together before marriage, nowadays it is almost uncommon for couples to even get engaged prior to living together. Is this the better way of doing things, or is it better to wait until after you say ‘I do’ to move in together?
In general, there are two camps of thought on this issue. Some people would never consider getting married without living with their future spouse first, while others, refuse to live together before saying ‘I do’. Either way, living together, married or not is a big step and one that you should always have an in-depth conversation with your partner about before making any decisions. Marriage amplifies your relationship, as does living together, so make sure you are ready before you take the leap.
There are three major pros to moving in together before marriage:
- You learn everything about each other. By moving into together before you get married, you have the opportunity to learn everything there is to know about your future spouse before you tie the knot. This way, you can ensure that you are compatible with each other while living in the same space.
- It’s like a trial run for marriage. You can work out any issues you might have before the pressure of marriage kicks in. If you can’t get along before marriage, things aren’t going to get better when you are married– and isn’t it better to know now, rather than have to go through the pain of divorce if things don’t work out?
- Financially, it makes sense. Let’s be honest, when two people are splitting the bills, they are easier to pay. While this should never be the only reason you move in with someone, if you spend every night together anyways, it makes more sense to have only one rent or mortgage payment rather than two.
On the con side of things, there is really only one glaring reason to not live together before marriage– co-habitating might make marriage seem less important. If you choose to live together before marriage, you might come to the conclusion that marriage won’t change your relationship all that much, so why have a wedding in the first place?
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At the end of the day, marriage is a step that you should be discussing with your partner. Marriage amplifies your current relationship. If you have a strong foundation, it will show, and on the other hand, if you’re looking for a band aid solution, it will become glaringly apparent.
So, make sure you sit down and have ‘the talk’ with your partner, make sure you’re both on the same page and ready to make this decision together.