Congrats, you’ve found the person you want to be with forever. Maybe you’ve bought a house, maybe you’ve stopped closing the door when you go to the bathroom – in any case – this is your person. As we get older and move around, the likelihood of meeting our significant other’s parents in passing decreases, so when it comes time to do so, you’re likely pretty committed to the relationship. So, when it comes time to meet the parents, the pressure is on… that little voice inside your head may be screaming: “what if they don’t like me?”, “What if I don’t like them?”, or worse, “what if this ruins our relationship?!”. Don’t worry– here are 5 steps to not only surviving meeting the in-laws for the first time, but nailing it!

Step 1: Be yourself

Don’t pull a Phoebe and try to be someone you’re not – you’ll come across as fake and your future in-laws will immediately know something is off. Answer their questions honestly and tell them how much you love their child. You’re partner loves you for a reason, it’s time to show them what that is!

meeting the in-laws

Step 2: Dress for success

Now is not the time to completely change your look! Touch base with your partner to see what the vibe is at their parent’s house and then dress to compliment that (while maybe stepping it up a notch). Wear something flattering, yet comfortable, so you’re not constantly adjusting yourself. You’ll be nervous already so you don’t need another reason to play with your clothes. Oh, and don’t forget to shower and wash your hair!

Step 3: Don’t drink too much

For whatever reason, being nervous makes alcohol disappear. Yes, it is totally fine to have a bevvy or two to take the edge off and make your hands stop sweating, but now is not the time to be slurring your words or to be a mess of tears telling your future mother-in-law how much you love her child.

Step 4: Do some research

Before you even meet the in-laws, make sure you know what to expect. Sit your partner down and ask questions about their family. What do their parents do for a living? What are their hobbies? Find common ground so you have a connection to fall back on if the conversation lags. Oh and make sure to find out if there are any topics that should be avoided at all costs!

Step 5: Bring a good bottle of wine

The golden rule of meeting the in-laws for the first time is to never arrive empty handed! So, if your future in-laws are wine drinkers, pick up a bottle of their favourite varietal. If they are board game enthusiasts, bring a long a classic. Whatever you do, bring an offering.

BONUS: Know that the odds are stacked in your favour

Contrary to popular belief, not all in-laws are crazy. Hollywood has made us think that “Meet the Parents” or “Monster-in-Law” are what we can expect when meeting our in-laws for the first time. But, in reality, your in-laws want to love you – because their kid loves you.

Meeting your in-laws for the first time can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be! Relax, and chat with your partner about any fears that you may have.