In many ways, planning an LGBTQ2+S wedding is exactly the same as any other wedding. There’s so much love and excitement surrounding any and every couple. Ideally, the wedding should be one that fits the uniqueness of the couple and their special bond. However, sometimes there are some finer points that can be quite different for LGBTQ2S+ couples than for heterosexual couples. Here are some things to keep in mind.
Generally, there isn’t really a rule as to who can or should propose to whom. Maybe you and your partner have already discussed getting engaged, including who might be getting down on one knee. Maybe you’ve even decided on mutually proposing to each other. But if not, the person who pops the question can basically be the one who decides it’s time to get hitched. There are no hard or steadfast rules here. Follow your heart and do what feels right for both of you.
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Don’t assume that only one needs to wear an engagement ring
Again, this is a choice that will be different for every relationship. If you and your partner think only one of you should wear an engagement, that’s great. If both of you want to wear an engagement ring, that’s great too. All bets are off here. Choose to wear a ring together or wear different ones. Whatever works for both of you is key.
Make sure your venue is LGBTQ2+S-friendly
This might be obvious but it’s important to be aware that some places might not be as welcoming as you would like — and you want to steer clear of these places. Your marriage deserves to be celebrated in a place that is more than happy to showcase and support your love. Now that same-sex weddings are more common, there are a number of reviews available for venues from LGBTQ2+S couples that are worth checking out. Be sure you vet your venues before requesting more information to be sure they will positively accommodate your wedding.
Don’t think you can’t have a religious officiant
While it’s true that some religions don’t embrace same-sex marriages, if getting married by a religious officiant is important to your partner or both of you, don’t be discouraged. It might require some research and digging, but there are a number of ministers, rabbis, or priests who will be happy to marry you.
You can wear whatever feels right to you
Whether you’re both wearing a tux or there are two brides each wearing a wedding dress, or neither, it’s imperative that you wear what feels right to you. Don’t think you’re obligated to wear any of the traditional wedding wardrobe pieces if it doesn’t feel right to you. Whatever makes you feel beautiful is the most important.
This comes down to preference as there might not be a “bride” or maybe there are two brides and no groom. Maybe both brides will walk down the aisle together. Maybe the grooms will enter from opposite ends of the room and meet in the middle. There is no wrong or right way to do this. It comes down to what will make you both feel special.
Your wedding party can be mixed genders
You don’t need to divide your wedding party by gender. In fact, same-sex weddings are more likely to mix and match their wedding parties including men and women. Choose the people who support you and your relationship the most.
Choose gender-neutral and LGBTQ2+S-friendly readings for your same-sex wedding ceremony (if it works)
Special ceremony readings can be tricky as a lot of traditional lyrics and poems don’t use pronouns or other gendered languages that won’t fit your ceremony. This is why it’s really important to find LGBTQ2+S-specific readings that will personalize your ceremony without you having to compromise and use something that just doesn’t work. You might also want to vet any material that your guests may read to ensure it fits your specific relationship. If anything, let your readers know your wishes so they’re aware of what’s appropriate.