You and your bestie may have spent hours on end dreaming up your weddings, and when you’re at that age where everyone is getting hitched, being engaged at the same time as your bridesmaid is actually more likely than you may think!

On the bright side, having a close friend that actually wants to talk all the nitty-gritty details of wedding planning (think florals, vendor contracts etc) can definitely come in handy when you need to vent to someone who gets it.

what to do and what not to do when your bridesmaid is also a bride to be, 1

Photo Courtesy of Lindsie Grey

Keep in mind that getting married at the same time as one of your friends will mean an extra layer of communication when scheduling things like your date, bridal showers and bachelorette parties. If you share a lot of the same social circle, you want to make sure that no one is put in the awkward position of choosing between your weddings (think Bride Wars). Just be sure to keep the lines open before anything gets set in stone!

It’s easy to get caught up in your own wedding and forget that the outside world exists – especially if your big day comes first – so be sure to be there for your friend as much as she is for you!

Here are some things to keep in mind if your maid is saying ‘I do’ too.

DO make the most of your bestie bridal bond by:

  • Sharing the planning load when researching vendors or visiting venues – this will save time, energy, and stress for both of you!
  • Taking turns in the spotlight – this means not talking about your wedding when it’s her bridal shower.
  • Getting excited with her – even if your tastes are different or she’s making different choices than you would make.
  • Being a sounding board or shoulder to cry on – you’ll need one too!
  • Pairing up on DIY tasks and vendors (when possible) – if you book the same vendor, you can sometimes wrangle a lower price! Paging DJ discount!
  • Wearing your bride hat when appropriate and your bridesmaid hat when it’s not
  • Having a joint bachelorette if your guests will be the same. If this sounds like your idea of a good time, go for it! Your friends will thank you.

DON’T cause unnecessary tension by:

  • Stealing the bride’s thunder when it’s her turn in the spotlight
  • Scooping her details for your own big day – if you have similar tastes, talk about sharing small details like those DIY centerpieces.
  • Forcing your vendors or taste onto your friend– remember, you don’t get two weddings, let her plan her own big day!
  • Getting judgmental about the amount she’s spending (or not spending) on her wedding.
  • Forgetting that you both have cause to celebrate one another!

Planning a wedding alongside your bridesmaid best friend can be exciting and challenging all at once! Just remember that your friendship extends well beyond either day and you should always put your friendship first!